Taking Breaks and Relaxing with an ADHD Brain.

“I can’t stop, I need to do something all the time.”

“I can’t sit still.”

“My brain is racing all the time.”

“I need to get things done, I can’t relax.

“I can’t take a break now as I’m already behind.”

“I never remember to take breaks, although I know I need them.”

Does it sound like you?

If any of the above sounds like you, you are in the right place. I’m not going to preach that rest is vital for people with ADHD and that taking breaks can help you. Instead, I’m going to share with you what I’ve learned from the mistakes I made in this area as a person with ADHD and an inability to sit still. You’ll find plenty of insights and ideas to help you change how you think about rest, taking breaks and relaxing. They are designed into actionable steps, making taking action easier. It’s not just another blog you read but one that will inspire you to change how you relax your mind and body.

Lessons from my meltdowns

It was late evening, and I was supposed to wake up early the next day as we were planning to go to the mountains. Well after 10 pm, I finally decided to start packing my hiking rucksack. I couldn’t find anything, I was tired and started to get very irritable. When I suddenly noticed some clothes on the floor, that was enough… everything was annoying me. I started to throw things and was just dying to break something. I had a massive meltdown and wasn’t nice to be around. 

Only on reflection, I realised what led me to a meltdown. It was Saturday so I planned to spend all day studying. When you study with The Open University, flexibility means that no one tells you to study, and never tells you to stop. No one ever tells you that you’ve done enough. You need to plan your own workload and go through the weekly content on time so that you submit your assignments on time. It took me ages to find a way to manage my time. I would usually do nothing for ages, or I would squeeze way too much into my schedule. 

“I hadn’t done enough to take a break…”

On that day, I did plan to take some breaks, but somehow, I completely ignored them as if they were invisible in my calendar. The challenge was that I didn’t start at the time I was supposed to start, as I spent ages procrastinating and doing thousands of other things first. So when it was break time, I felt I hadn’t done enough. 

“I don’t want to break the flow.”

When I finally started, I was in the flow. I enjoyed what I was learning about as it was the topic of emotions. When I do something I find really interesting, I often hyperfocus and find it hard to stop. In the past, I assumed that if I enjoyed what I was doing and I was not getting tired, then I was okay, but the reality was different. I’ve been studying that day with no breaks from 10 am till 9 pm. For neurotypical people, it might be ok to study so much before the exams, but they at least move away from the screen or the books, while we ADHDers may even stop ourselves from eating, drinking or going to the toilet when we get into a hyperfocused mode. However, research shows that we are more likely to be more attentive and productive if we take breaks [1]. Not just people with ADHD, everyone. 

Find your way 

I think the key is to find your way of taking breaks and find a balance. As you read through, try to find one thing you could change, instead of changing your entire routine. Aiming for perfection doesn’t help here. I often get lost when I try to improve things, aiming to get from one extreme to another. Having no breaks at all and trying to have a break every hour was not only impossible for me but also strange and ineffective. Sometimes, taking a break takes me out of the flow and may distract me instead of helping me. So I tend to take a proper break at least every 3-4 hours but do not expect that it will always be a perfect half-hour break.

What makes it so hard to take a break for a person with ADHD?

One of the things that makes it really hard for people with ADHD to take breaks is the constant need for dopamine. You may feel like you first need to finish that thing before allowing yourself to take a break. It’s a little bit like you need to earn your break. You may be wondering, ‘Have I done enough to deserve a break?’ Like, you’ve wasted so much time staring at the screen or procrastinating that you feel you need to get something done first. But you are so exhausted (procrastinating is not the same as relaxing so it is tiring) that it takes you hours to even start. Or you plan so many things to do because you feel you are behind the schedule before you even start. Then you punish yourself by skipping your breaks. I’m guilty of it a lot.

This may be especially challenging when you’re working on a big project. You may struggle to appreciate your progress until you see the project completed. But you may forget that if you continue pushing through without rest, the end effect may not be as good, or you may burn yourself out and never finish.

“What If I lose momentum?”

You may assume that if you take a break, you will lose your focus, and you will not manage to get back to what you were doing. And sometimes that’s the case as well, so it’s important that you learn to notice what your body needs and when and what is right for you.

Too busy to rest

Another reason for not taking a break might be because you are too busy, have too many things to do, and don’t have time to take a break. More on that later on. Also, you may be so hyperfocused on something that you lose your sense of time. Another reason is that you may be working in a busy office space, where you see others not taking breaks, eating their lunch at their desk while finishing their work… so you’re doing the same. Read on, there will be a solution to that as well.

“I don’t even know how to relax”

Another reason might be that you don’t know how to relax. And that’s a fair point. I remember when I ended up with burnout for the first time, and a counsellor asked me how I relax. So, I mentioned running, gym… and straight away, I mentioned that I need to maybe do more, go back to the gym, do some weights… And she asked: “How about any time when you do nothing? The time when you rest your mind and body.’’ At that time, I thought, “It happens only when I sleep, If I sleep, that is.” She asked about TV – I do not even have a TV at home (that’s the best thing ever, by the way, and no, I don’t watch Netflix either. Books? Oh yes, I’ve got plenty of psychological and self-help books… I love learning, I love personal development! And here she pointed out that my brain is not resting when I read books like that. At first, I was slightly confused. I thought active relaxation like running was good for me. Some of us prefer to lie on the beach and chill, while others prefer to climb the mountain. I’m the one from the second group. And that’s true. But there is also a truth on the other side.

Exercise can help people with ADHD focus 

Active relaxation, like aerobic type exercise, can help people with ADHD to increase cognitive functioning and focus [2]. There is also evidence that short, high-intensity movement breaks, even for about 5 minutes, can increase memory and attention [3]. The study with university students found that students who took short 5-minute movement exercises every 20 minutes during lectures experienced increased attention and memory compared to those who did not take a break or took an inactive break. It is unclear whether those who had a non-exercise break spent some time on their phones or engaged in other activities that utilised a lot of cognitive energy. So what I take out of it is that active breaks are great, and if we choose a gentle walk or a non-active break, the key is to rest our brain and not scroll the phone or sort the bills out.

“I can’t sit still and do nothing.”

Speaking about not doing anything, not checking your phone, and not making the phone calls when you’re finally ready to rest may not be easy. Back then, I believed I could not sit still and do nothing. Especially when the counsellor tried to take me through a guided meditation for the very first time. Not even a minute into it, I said I couldn’t do it because I felt we were wasting time. 10 years later, I meditate every single day. Without it, I’d be all over the place. 

Find a balance. Mix and match

I think it’s important to find a space for both. I love active breaks, and most of the time, when I’m not working or studying, I’m running, hiking, climbing or doing something active. But at the end of the day, I choose meditation, music, and slow-paced activities that help me relax and wind down. And there is no need to choose one or another. Mix both, test and try what works best and when you need what. For example, on days when I’ve got the most admin-related work, sitting meetings and no walking sessions (did you know I do walking coaching sessions?). I always make sure I run in the morning and go for a 15-30-minute long walk halfway through the day. It is still active, but I am not rushing to get anywhere. I am not calling anyone or checking my phone, and my head is resting. On days when I see clients in different places or have one or two walking coaching sessions, I may be more likely to choose a meditation break or yoga. That’s a mix of both worlds active but gentle. The review of the research on the impact of yoga and meditation on children with ADHD highlights that it can be used to supplement ADHD treatment as it increases concentration and reduces hyperactivity and impulsivity [4]. It has also been found that meditation and yoga have a positive impact on reducing anxiety and increasing self-esteem. From my own experience, I can say that just a few minutes of meditation help me gather my thoughts, and be less impulsive, calmer and nicer to other people. 

But don’t worry; you don’t need to start with meditation. As long as you do something, you take a break, that’s what matters. And give yourself some time to find what works for you and when. As you may know already, not every strategy works for you all the time. Also, what works for one person with ADHD may not work for another, as we are all different. 

Ideas to rest

As I was exploring ways of resting, I also pushed myself to read some books just to relax. It wasn’t easy, as I love learning and working on myself and all things psychology. But I realised that when I read something light and funny just for the sake of enjoying a book and not for any other aims, I am resting. And I finally read Harry Potter! I didn’t fall in love with it, though. But any easy-to-read, relaxing book will do. It works especially well as a nighttime reading activity, to help me switch off my brain and relax. I noticed that I sleep so much better after reading a gentle and easy book before sleep. But don’t worry, I was just like you. When I experienced my first burnout and was told that I needed to learn to relax, I didn’t even know what I could do to rest – so I put together a list of ideas for you – >> Send me an email at hello@wioleta.co.uk and I’ll send it your way together with a fun exercise that will help you to come up with your own list of relaxing activities and actually do it.

17 Ways to Help Yourself to Take Breaks and Rest with an ADHD Brain:

 

1. Choose a different reaction

I think the first thing is to accept that you find it hard to rest. No matter whether it’s ADHD, perfectionism or OCD. If you’re struggling to stop, instead of asking: “What’s wrong with me?” ask, “How can I help myself to take breaks?”. You’ll be surprised how much can change with your attitude change.

 

2. Make it a fun and exciting experiment 

Track for a month how you feel and how much you get done on days when you take breaks and relax vs days when you don’t. You will surprise yourself. And you will create evidence that rest is valuable for an ADHD brain and that you are able to rest. I know it’s hard. Especially if you have lived all your life spinning your wheels super fast. You’re changing your beliefs here about what is possible for you. After years of practising life with no breaks and no rest, you gathered tonnes of evidence that this is how you are. Now you need to create new evidence, that you can take breaks and enjoy them as it will influence your behaviour and make it easier to take breaks. I quickly learned that I feel a lot better and I’m functioning better when I take breaks and it made it easier to continue.

 

3. Remind yourself why you need breaks 

When you take breaks and rest, you can be more productive, and more focused, you can avoid burnout, you can be nicer to others, avoid meltdowns, feel happier, and be more productive… the list is endless. Put together your own list.

 

4. Do something that you like

Instead of planning boring breaks, plan something you’re excited to do.

A study with 95 employees [5] found that preferred activities gave people more benefits including emotional recharge. Go back to my list of relaxing activities and add 6 things (or choose from the list) that you would enjoy. Make it your own. Then grab a dice, roll it, and the number you get is the next activity you need to do! Make it fun!

 

5. Make it easier for yourself

Go away from your desk. Leave your phone in a different room. Set a timer.

 

6. Don’t wait until everything is done

The same study highlighted that breaks taken earlier in the day were more beneficial than those taken later [5]. I think it’s important to balance it well. Sometimes you may feel good to stay with a task for a bit longer when you’re in the flow, but you probably remember how many times you struggled to finish… So perhaps you don’t need a break after an hour on a task, but if you are already hyperfocused on it for more than three hours, it might be good to take a break. A break can give your brain a nice healthy reset. Set an alarm so that you can make sure you come back to the activity.

 

7. Respect the differences in your brain

Remind yourself that your ADHD brain works faster and gets overwhelmed faster, so you do need breaks to feel better. And while most neurotypical people may notice that they are getting tired, people with ADHD may not notice that their battery is running low until it’s 0%. That’s one thing that many people get out of ADHD diagnosis, an awareness of their own needs. Once I knew I had ADHD, it became easier to be more understanding and compassionate to myself. I knew my brain was different, and it needed rest, so I found it easier to stick to the routines that worked for me. Reminding yourself about what your brain needs is especially helpful when you’re super busy or compare yourself to people around you working through the day without recharging.

 

8. Tiny break is better than no break

Take a few smaller breaks – even just a minute to close your eyes if you haven’t got any more time is better than not stopping at all. The analysis of 19 studies showed that people who take micro-breaks were more productive than those who did not take any breaks. [1]. Start small. It is easier to take 5 minutes each day and then increase that to 10 minutes and later 20 or even half an hour. But it will be hard to even start if you aim to have an hour-long break every day straight away while you’ve never managed to do it before.

 

9. Slowly increase time

Once you get comfortable with mini breaks, allocate time for a proper break. Half an hour, plus some smaller mini-breaks. If it feels a lot, start tracking how much time you waste procrastinating. The more you rest, the more productive you are, and the less you procrastinate. The analysis of the research mentioned earlier showed that although micro breaks help to increase performance, to recover from highly depleting tasks, we need breaks that are longer than 10 minutes [1]. So although a tiny break is better than no break, aim to increase the time slowly.

 

10. Schedule breaks in advance

Add your breaks to your calendar and colour code them as of they were appointments with important people.

 

11. Set timers and alarms. 

I use a simple timer on the laptop or set alarms on my phone (usually more than one, as I may not react to it straight away). On the laptop, the standard clock allows you to set focus time with breaks, and it will give you a nudge.

 

12. Ask for help

Ask someone to remind you to go for a break. Or maybe even buddy up with another ADHD brain. It’s easier to do things with others.

 

13. Buffers in your schedule

Add buffers in your schedule with an empty space (add them in advance before your schedule is full and everything is super important). It helps in case you unrealistically planned too many things and did not leave any space for a break. It allows you to make sure you can take a break with peace of mind that you’ve got some spare time later.

 

14. Look out for things to cancel or reschedule

If you feel like you’ve got too many things to do, check what really needs to be done today and what can wait. Rethink the priorities, what you can schedule for another day, and what you can let go of. Look at what else you could cancel to make a space to relax. I look out for things I can cancel at the start of every week as I know I often over-commit myself and plan unrealistically.

 

15. Take breaks away from your desk 

It is a lot harder to stop working when you are in front of your laptop so make sure you move. As mentioned earlier, active rest might be easier to start with, and people with ADHD usually find it beneficial to move. It might be just a gentle walk. The key is not to scroll the phone but to actually experience the present moment. 

 

16. Habit stacking

Attach your break to another habit. For example, if every Thursday at 11 you’ve got a team meeting, plan to take a break straight after. Stacking your habits together can help you to remember about breaks. 

 

17. Believe that you can do it 

You are working on it. Your brain can adapt and create new pathways and habits thanks to neuroplasticity [4]. You can change no matter how long you’ve been known for never stopping and working yourself out to the ground. As long as you try. And the more you try, the easier it becomes because your brain creates new pathways. With practice, your brain learns that you are the person who takes breaks.

 

And one more thing that really stayed with me recently:

 

If you were on your deathbed, would you regret not working more hours?

 

I’d recommend stopping for a moment and thinking here. Then make a note of one thing that you are actually going to do. Add a little reminder to your calendar to review your break situation, bookmark this article, and continue to implement one step at a time.

 

If any of the above got you thinking, that’s a good sign. Don’t worry nobody can change overnight. It takes steps. Small steps. One at a time.

 

And in the meantime, let me know what you plan to do as a result of reading this blog. Write it down in the comments below for a little bit of social pressure.

 

 

 

 

 

Reference list

 

[1]

Albulescu P, Macsinga I, Rusu A, Sulea C, Bodnaru A, Tulbure BT. “Give me a break!” A systematic review and meta-analysis on the efficacy of micro-breaks for increasing well-being and performance. Steinborn MB, ed. PLOS ONE. 2022;17(8):e0272460. doi:https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0272460

 

[2]

CHOI JW, HAN DH, KANG KD, JUNG HY, RENSHAW PF. Aerobic Exercise and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise. 2015;47(1):33-39. doi:https://doi.org/10.1249/mss.0000000000000373

 

[3]

Fenesi, B. et al. (2018) ‘Sweat so you don’t forget: exercise breaks during a university lecture increase on-task attention and learning’, Journal of Applied Research in Memory and Cognition, 7(2), pp. 261–269. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jarmac.2018.01.012

 

[4]

Gonzalez NA, Sakhamuri N, Athiyaman S, et al. A Systematic Review of Yoga and Meditation for Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder in Children. Cureus. 2023;15(3). doi:https://doi.org/10.7759/cureus.36143

 

[5] 

Hunter EM, Wu C. Give me a better break: Choosing workday break activities to maximize resource recovery. Journal of Applied Psychology. 2016;101(2):302-311. doi:https://doi.org/10.1037/apl0000045

 

[6]

Weffort de Oliveira, R.M. (2020) ‘Neuroplasticity’, Journal of Chemical Neuroanatomy, 108, article number 101822. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jchemneu.2020.101822